Caramel Apple Spice and a Best Friend.

You know.. most teenagers my age are probably out partying right now.
Nah, not me.
Where am I? I'm at Starbucks. With a Vente Caramel Apple Spice on my right and my notebook and pencil on my left. With my best friend sitting across from me.

I think most people spend their lives looking for something. Looking for something that they don't have, instead of realizing what they do have.
And so, here are my kudos to everything that I have and am greatful for in my life at this moment.
Caramel Apple Spice: I know you're not supposed to be attatched to worldly things, but I really hope you are in the afterlife. You are like Christmas in a cup. Thank you.
Writing. Thank you for letting me express my feelings. So many different facets of life pour out onto paper because of you, and I feel better because of it.
StarBucks. Why haven't I been here every friday night for my whole life? Your solitude is brilliant.
Swimming. I know, another post about swimming. Shut up, it's my life alright? Honestly, I know I smell like chlorine all the time because of you, but swimming, you will always have a place in my heart.
Denise. (Incase you didn't know, Denise is my car. She's beautiful inside and out.) Denise, thank you for getting me places. The rev of your engine makes my day, and the way you automatically adjust your mirrors to my preference just brings happiness to my soul.
Rachel Alettta Hubert. Alright, I'll try not to not stray to the cheesey side of life for this, but if I do, Im sorry. I consider myself extremely fortunate. I have a person who wants to hang out with me ( I know, shocker huh? ) because of who I am. Or maybe its just my devilish good looks, I'm not quite sure.
It's crazy to think that you can spend so much time with someone that you start to adopt their habits. That you start to think on the same brainwave frequency. That you start having conversations with them in your head while you swim about funny situations. Wait, what?... awkward. But really. When I laugh, I look up and she's laughing too. Anyone who gets my sense of humor has got to be a really legit person. But for real, I heart Rachel Aletta Hubert.
P.S. Check out her blog! Here!

This post isn't about life and the situations that it brings. Its about how beautiful life simply just is. Think about it. Look at everything you have. It's beautiful and without it, you wouldn't be you.

And so, with that, I say..
I heart Starbucks. And my best friend. And life.

Weakness.

I'm not one to admit weakness. I rather despise doing so. I like to believe that I'm strong enough to handle anything. But when it comes to this.. I have no strength. I am easily swayed in any direction he may take me. Who is this mystery person?

ADAM LEVINE.

Oh my gosh. I just.. I don't even know what to say. He's like the perfect man. (Aside from all of the tattoos and the questionable language, but I'm willing to look past that.) He sings. He has a little scruff but not too much, its a nice balance. And. Most importantly.

* Look at the post second from the top**

<<

HE SAID SHAKE AND BAKE. This is destiny. Im sure of it.

Dear Adam Levine.
Marry me.

Love, Me.

Home.Coming.

I never thought I'd be one to get overly excited about dances. Consequently I discovered yesterday that I love them. Everything about them is so great. Let me just tell you:
 1.) The Day Date. 
Lets just be honest here, it doesn't get any better than a pudding slip-n-slide. Yeah, I know. PUDDING. I had to try really hard not to eat it. We got a giant tarp and put it on a hill in this park up on the side of the mountain, and the boys brought bowls and buckets and containers full of pudding. I personally thought it was brilliant. We threw it at each other, slid down the tarp, and just messed around. Eventually we got all tired, and discovered really quick that the pudding had dried. 
No bueno.
It was terrible. We could hardly talk because it made our face all cracked and stiff, and every time we moved our arms or legs, skin would stick together. Ouuuch. It was really funny, though. We drove to a nearby pond and tried to get it off our skin. After scrubbing with little individual knives that severed every pore on my face ......,sand, we finally drove home. It was such a fun date. Oh my heck.


2) Getting ready for the dance. 
Alright.. I don't know about you, but I don't get ready that often. Usually I just wear jeans and a big t-shirt to school with my hair in a messy bun. ( The upside to this is that when you have a random day where you DO get ready, EVERYONE notices. Its rather funny to me. "Hey, you look pretty today!" "Thanks. I straightened my hair for the first time in 4 months.!") Anyway, Having a day where I had the time and actually used it to look sociably acceptable.. was really fun. I did my nails, messed around with hair styles, modeled my dress, experimented with eye shadow.. ( I think I found a new hobby. Eye Shadow is so fun to screw around with. ) I dunno. It was just fun to feel pretty for once.


3) When your date comes.
All of the movies portray that "staircase decent scene" like its the biggest deal in the whole world. Which I guess in some cases it may be. I have to admit, I have really awesome prom stairs. They wind around and you get a straight shot at the door while you still have like 4 steps left. Im sure I could've put my hand on the railing and danced down if I wanted to, just to make it more dramatic.. but that would've made my date feel awkward. I just walked down casually.
My date: "Oh hey." <-- (was he surprised to see me? Haha.)
Me: "Hey!" I guess it could've been considered casual conversation. Except I was in a dress and had probably 12 ounces of hairspray in my hair. Oh well.


4) Corsage and Boutineer.
What the heck. Who on earth made these things so complicated. I was trying SO hard not to stab Carson to death the whole time. How are 2 little pins supposed to keep this massive rose on a thin shirt? Geeze. After like 400 attempts on my part, I just had my mom do it. She's a lot more experienced than I am.
Carson was smart and got a velcro corsage, with really pretty white roses and red accents. I thought he did a good job. I was impressed. Luckily, we made it out the door with no bloodshed. 


5) Pictures.
What is it about taking pictures in a dress that makes them so much more fun? Usually I hate taking pictures. Probably because I look like crap more than half of the time, but I guess looking fancy does silly things to your confidence. We went to these old Silos with old garage doors and hay. I thought they were super precious. One of the girls in our group had her mom come and take the pictures, and I thought they were really awesome. 
Side Note: Each couple had to come up with their own pose and mine and Carson's was definitely the best. What was it? AWKWARD POSE. Oh heck yeah. I may have stolen the idea from my dear friend Camille, but I couldn't help it. It was so funny. I wish I had a copy of the picture to show you, but I don't. Once i do, I'll put it on here. 


6) Dinner. 
I guess I loved dinner so much just because I love food. Period. And we went to one of my all time favorite restaurants in this whole wide world. Los Hermanos. Mmmm. Carson was telling me about this fancy mexican drink that I just HAD to try called Horchata. He said 'Its like a liquid cinnamon roll.' So duh I had to try it. The whole table ordered one, and the waiter brought them all out. He stopped to put mine down and guess what? 
Spilled the whole tray all over my dress. Oh yeah. Just my luck, right? Good thing my dress had absorbent fabric or I would've been livid. It just sank into my dress and we were all good. 


7) The DANCE.
Kay, I was never one for dancing. But there's something about High School dances that make me crazy. Maybe it's everyone dancing the same dance, or the good music with the fancy lights, but I love it. I love love love it. People watching is also really fun to do. You have A) The awkward couple that slow dances to every song and just stares into each others eyes like they're watching a movie. [ vomit. ] B) the couple that bobs up and down to the beat of the music awkwardly. C) The couple that just stands and talks the whole time because neither one of them wants to dance. [ Why are you even here? You're taking up my 2-step space. Away with you. ] D) The couple that goes absolutely insane to every song. I was that kind of couple. Poor Carson probably thought I was high the whole night. He danced crazy with me though, so that was nice.
Secret: I can actually dance. Weird, huh? Everyone was shocked. Shut up, I can dance, alright?
I thought the DJ was decent. Last year at Prom they edited the crap out of every song, so we couldn't even sing along. Lame. Homecoming was sweet cause the DJ knew music. Party music. I approved.
Our group decided to leave like 5 minutes early to beat the traffic, and as we're walking out, guess what song starts playing?
PARTY ROCK ANTHEM.
OH my FREAK YES. We run back down the hall and the whole entire school is shuffling. I was like "yes. My life is complete." I think I rubbed holes in the bottoms of my Toms due to excessive shuffling. It was so crazy. Everyone was screaming and dancing and laughing and shuffling and.. ah. Bliss.


All in all, I had an amazing time. Carson was an awesome date and my group was hilarious. I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming experience.


Some pictures for your hungry eyes? Here you go. 

Oh dang. We're so fine.

Hair? Diamonds? YES.

Kodak moment!

He picked me up in a BMW. No big deal.

How cute is my group? For real.

I don't remember what was happening here, but apparently I thought it was hilarious..

Anyway. It was super fun. 
More pictures soon. I promise!

Fixing a Heart.

" I try to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind.


I just ran out of band-aids. I don't even know where to start. Cause you can't bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart." 


I'm not going to write a sob story about breaking up. I didn't break up with anybody. I'm not even with anybody. I'm talking about the damage that a heart takes when something eats at you for a period of time. That sick, almost nauseating feeling that constantly hangs over you. 
Worrying.
Holding a grudge.
Wishing you could change them.
Wishing you could take all the consequences for them.
Hoping they'll be okay, but you never really know for sure because the mask they're wearing is so thick.
Wanting to take all of the pain away.
Not saying sorry when you should.
Being a burden when you shouldn't.


I'm one of those people that wishes she could take all the pain I see and put it on myself. Not because I want to say "Look what I'm doing." but because I just can't stand seeing people I love hurting. 
I try to make myself believe that I'm strong enough to handle anything. I try to tell myself that I can handle their pain, too, because then it would be my worries and not theirs. I know that I can handle it, and I don't want them to be hurting when they don't need to.


Then I realized that I'm just me. I can only take as much as any normal person. I've had my own trials, and dealt with them how I needed to. Maybe not in the best way at first, but I learn from my mistakes.
Someone very smart once told me "You can be a help to people, but you can't be everything. Let Him take the pain for them. He's already done it. There's not a need for you to."


It took me a while to realize how true that really is. 


Christ already did everything for us. He can make every ache we're feeling going away. He's the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about but no one truly believes until they experience it on their own. He's the force that heals you behind the band-aid. He's the answer to all of the questions you ask yourself at night when its dark and you feel alone. He's that warm fuzzy feeling you get. 


He's the one who fixes hearts. 


I wish everyone knew the emotional stress that teenage girls feel every day. So many different facets, so many different things to deal with. How many times have we said "No one understands me," or "Why do I have to be in this alone?"


You silly girls. You're not alone. And someone does understand you. Someone who knows you better than yourself. Someone who knows how betrayal feels. Someone who knows how crying so hard your sides ache feels. Someone who knows what a broken heart feels like.


Sometimes it's just comforting to know that even though we're surrounded by materialistic things, there's one thing that doesn't have a price, and surpasses everything ever created by man.


God's Love.

" Sometimes you must walk a little further into the darkness before you can see the light"

Somewhere. Over the Rainbow.

Today I clicked on my friends blog, and started reading. Then a song came on. A song that I hadn't heard in years but it suddenly brought back a flood of memories that completely subdued me for a good 60 seconds.
I remember playing in the grass of our little American Fork house, jumping on the tramp with my brother and hoping he wouldn't bounce me off. I remember my dad pushing me on the swings so high that I was worried I'd fall off. I think why I remember this song so much is because my Dad loves it so much. Occasionally I'll catch him whistling it, or it'll show up on a slideshow of family pictures.
If there ever was a song that I wanted to play in the background while I lived my life, it'd be this one.
It reminds me of Hawaii, too.
Ah that beautiful place. I miss it so much. I miss the white sand beaches, and sitting out on the waves of Sunset Beach, watching the sun sink down into the perfect blue water. Ah, I dunno.
With life being so crazy, I couldn't be more thankful to music. Like This. Or This!
"Where trouble melts like lemon drops... High above the chimney tops that's where.. you'll find me."

Sunset Beach. Ahhhh.

Wasn't I adorable? Lets get real. Look at that face.

Anyway.
Somewhere over the Rainbow.. the rest of my life is going to happen. But I'm alright with waiting. Because I like this moment right now.

Flatts Fest

Last night. Was. So. Unreal.
Let me just begin by saying that my dear friend Rachel gave me a present on my birthday. I opened it at practice and it was a journal.
"So you can keep writing!" she said. "I wrote a really long note in the front for you. It took me forever."
So, naturally, I start turning the cover pages so I can read this note. But, alas, there wasn't a note. There were 2 tickets to Rascal Flatts on the 9th.
I don't think I've ever screamed louder in my life. It was such a brilliant moment. I almost started crying. Almost.

2 days had never seemed so long.
But then, I woke up on Friday morning and said "Yes. Today is the day." ( Okay, so maybe I'm making this sound a little bit more dramatic than it really was. But I think it sounds cool, don't you?) After making my way through school, we went to dinner at my all time favorite restaurant to start off the night. Porters Place.
 Confession: Im a sucker for a good burger and fries. They're my weakness.
So after stuffing ourselves with deep-fried deliciousness, we started driving to the concert.
It rained.
And rained.
and rained.

I was starting to freak out a little bit that the concert would be canceled, but Daryk and Rachel kept telling me they highly doubted Rascal Flatts would re schedule.
By the time we got to USANA Amphitheatre, the skies were all cleared up and I started to relax a little bit. We had to wring out the blankets that we'd set up, but it was all good because we were at Rascal freaking Flatts. And that's all that mattered.

They opened with "Why wait."
They closed with "Bob that head,"
but then came out for an encore.
They sang "Easy," and I almost cried.
I bought a T-shirt because I just had to have the memory.
We took 20283947 pictures because we were so pumped to be there.
We listened to Rascal Flatts the entire drive home.
I sang every song at the top of my lungs. (Sorry Daryk. Sorry Rachel.) I bet I sounded terrible. Oh well.

It was so unreal. So epic. So fun. Being with people that I love to hang out with.. I just, I dunno. I don't know how a birthday could've gotten any better.
Rachel, if you read this, Thank you. For everything. It was amazing. I know I've told you 10 thousand times, but lets get real.. that was.. priceless.

Dances.

Oh, Hey.
Story: So I arrive home from Bear Lake last night and find this on my doorstep.

Super cute, huh? There were tons of names on the back of it (ie; Justin Bieber[hahahah...] Taylor Lautner[hahahah!] Russ, Tyler, Etc.) and I had to wash the shirt to see which name would be the only one left. And he got me my favorite chocolates on this planet. How did he know? We're not sure. All I know is that I love them. And I've nearly eaten all of them by myself.

So, being devious me, I had to think of a super awesome way to answer. My mom had heard of this idea: Buy like 400 little plastic army men, and put them all over his room. Make a poster that says "Not even an Army could keep me from going to Homecoming with you." Awww.. so cute. So that's what we did. We legitimately bought 400 army guys, his mom snuck us into his house and we set them up EVERYWHERE. It was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Here are some pictures of our adventuring.

Yes, I made a trail from the garage door where he'd come in, all the way to his bedroom. Win? I think so. I personally thought it was brilliant.
As I was thinking of ways to answer Carson, I got really frustrated because I couldn't find any ideas on the internet. Isn't the internet supposed to have all the answers to every question you might have in life? I thought so, too. There were a few ways to answer to dances, but honestly, none of them were any good. So I'm here to help. (Warning/Note: Some of them might be lame, I'm just trying to help!)

Asking to a Dance.
1. Make a puzzle. Write 'Homecoming?' or 'Prom?' and your name, and laminate it, then cut it into pieces. Drop it off at their door and they can figure it out!
2. ( I love this one ) Dress up in a gorilla suit and hold a sign that says "I'll go bananas if you don't go to the dance with me!" I'd totally say yes to that one.
3. Buy a .25 cent fish at Walmart. Put it in a bowl. Take it to their house with a poster that says 'Of all the fish in the sea.. I want you to come to _____(<-- dance name) with me!'
4. Have a friend trace your body in chalk on their porch, and put caution tape all over. Then leave a fake police report that says '____(<-- your name. Der.) is dying to go to the dance with you!'
5. Make a chocolate trail from the door to their room, and put hershey kisses everywhere. Leave a note that says 'Now that I've kissed the ground you walk on.. would you please accompany me to ____?"

Answering to a dance.
1. Leave army men everywhere. That's the best idea anyone's ever had.
2. Cut out a bunch of shapes that look like fish, and put them in the person's front yard. Write things like "I'm hooked!" "You got me!" "I'm a keeper!" ( if you feel like being cocky.)
3. Cut 'yes' out in a pumpkin and leave it on their porch at night
4. Wrap a pack of bubble gum with a note that says "I chews to go with you!"

Those are just a few, but, better than nothing, right? Be creative. Think of something new.
Be you. :)

I'm at the lake.. Again.

Yes, yes. I know. I am indeed at Bear Lake again. What can I say? I love this place. It's been pretty crazy since I've gotten up here. Stay up all night, sleep in and wake up when ever the heck you feel like it. Go on a 4-wheeling adventure and decide "Pft, I don't need a trail" and make one of your own. Then maybe accidentally get pitched off of the side of your 4-wheeler because you may or may not have accidentally hit a rock that you totally should've seen.. Then keep going even though you're bleeding. Then go back to the cabin and watch Tangled while wrapped up in blankets. Then go out on a boat and do some wake boarding. Then go get a cheeseburger and fries, and take funny pictures just because you can. Drive back, then decide you need to blog because it's been a while.
So here I am. Blogging.
I don't know who ever invented blogs, but I need to thank them. I feel more at peace with my insane life. It's nice.
I decided that one day I'm going to have a boat. And I will be a pro wake boarder. End of story. That is my goal. Let it be.