I've never been good at goodbye's.

I've never been good at goodbye's. They've always been hard for me.
I've never had the capacity to take them in- I've always been forced to.
Some are unexpected, others you dwell on for months. Years, even.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I met you. I didn't know we'd end up like this; head over heels in love. I just didn't know.

but it happened. We happened.

I fell head first and didn't look back. There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't thank my rarely lucky stars that I had you. There wasn't ever a time where I had doubts, or fears about being with you. You always knew what I needed, and you always put me before yourself.

You were my best friend. Strong and steady.

Then you were just.. ripped from my life. I knew it was coming. I should've been prepared. But now that I look back on it I think the anticipation made it worse. It was like when you're coming to the end of an amazing vacation-paradise- and soon it'll all be over, and you won't have anything to look forward to.
You were always what I looked forward to.

You and me, together, we're infinite.

I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss the things you'd do that would bug me. I miss the things you do that would make me laugh, and smile. I miss calling you at night, and waking up to your texts in the morning. I miss my best friend.

It's funny, most people don't understand. They keep telling me "You're only 16." and "He needs to focus on the work." Ha, funny, last time I checked he wasn't your best friend. He's mine. You don't know the inside jokes, or the way we say certain words to mean different things. You don't know him like I know him. And you don't know me like he knows me.

I wish I knew how to cope with this. I've been doing pretty good so far. I just wish I knew how to make that stupid hole in my chest go away. I get it every time I pass a place we went together, or I see something really funny and the only person who'd understand is him.

There are a lot of things in this world that I don't know. Granted, I might never know them.

But I know one thing.

I love him. and he loves me. That's enough.

Hey, sweetheart.

I've come to realize that one of the most comforting things in this entire world is when you open the mailbox, see his handwriting on a white envelope, run inside, hop on the couch, rip open the letter and read his words in your mind exactly how he would've said them. I've come to realize that one of the most comforting things in this entire world is knowing he's okay. And when he writes "Hey, Sweetheart." at the top of every page.

I'm okay.

Well the first day has come and gone, and I can say his name without crying now.
I know that two years is a long time, but eternity is longer.
And truth is, I need this time just as much as he does. We need to grow individually and learn more things about each other. Every letter and package is just going to make me love him more.

Yeah, two years is a long time. But I'd rather wait those two years and then spend eternity with my best friend.

Elder Daniel Gary Laird.

It's only 2 years.

That's what I keep trying to tell myself, anyway.

I can't write a lot about him or I'll start crying. But I just want to tell everyone about my best friend.
His name is Daniel Gary Laird, and he's amazing. Everything about him makes me smile.
He's kind and patient, he's sweet and understanding, and he's everything I could've asked for and more.

He's going to be gone for the next two years. But that's okay, because this is what he needs to be doing.
He'll come back.
And when he does, I think I might marry that boy.