Basically I'm a pro.

Missionaries are a strange thing.
sending off one missionary - especially when its your boyfriend- is strange. and hard.
sending off another missionary - that being your brother- is strange. but a different kind of hard.

I got asked a lot of questions today.
"Was it harder sending off your brother, or your boyfriend?"
and I answered them all the same.
"you can't compare the two. Its completely different."

Sending off your boyfriend.

Sending off the other half of you. The boy who knows something's wrong even if you have a smile on your face. The boy who you're always holding hands with, or always having those stupid but awesome 'I love you more' fights. The boy who took you to dinner, and movies. The boy who was totally fine with snuggling on the couch, talking about life for hours. The boy who you were in love with. The boy who's in love with you.The boy who completes you.

Sending off your brother.

The boy who's been there from the beginning. The boy who had 5 million baseball  games every summer, but you went to all of them. The boy who's room you'd go into at night because you had a bad dream, or you were scared.
The boy who made you cry when he left for college.
The boy who's last words to you were "I love you, Sam." and you cried as you said it back, and straightened out his name tag at the bottom of the escalator.
The boy who you watched walk through security, wanting more than anything to run to him and hug him one last time. The brother who is the strongest man you've ever met.
The boy who made you who you are.


You see? Its completely different. I'd like to say that I'm decently acquainted with sending off missionaries in both of those aspects now. Which sucks in a million ways, but rocks in just as many other ways.

Two years is a long time.
Especially when two of the most important men in your life are gone.

All I can say right now, is 2014 is going to be the most amazing year.. ever.