I've never been good at goodbye's. They've always been hard for me.
I've never had the capacity to take them in- I've always been forced to.
Some are unexpected, others you dwell on for months. Years, even.
I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I met you. I didn't know we'd end up like this; head over heels in love. I just didn't know.
but it happened. We happened.
I fell head first and didn't look back. There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't thank my rarely lucky stars that I had you. There wasn't ever a time where I had doubts, or fears about being with you. You always knew what I needed, and you always put me before yourself.
You were my best friend. Strong and steady.
Then you were just.. ripped from my life. I knew it was coming. I should've been prepared. But now that I look back on it I think the anticipation made it worse. It was like when you're coming to the end of an amazing vacation-paradise- and soon it'll all be over, and you won't have anything to look forward to.
You were always what I looked forward to.
You and me, together, we're infinite.
I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss the things you'd do that would bug me. I miss the things you do that would make me laugh, and smile. I miss calling you at night, and waking up to your texts in the morning. I miss my best friend.
It's funny, most people don't understand. They keep telling me "You're only 16." and "He needs to focus on the work." Ha, funny, last time I checked he wasn't your best friend. He's mine. You don't know the inside jokes, or the way we say certain words to mean different things. You don't know him like I know him. And you don't know me like he knows me.
I wish I knew how to cope with this. I've been doing pretty good so far. I just wish I knew how to make that stupid hole in my chest go away. I get it every time I pass a place we went together, or I see something really funny and the only person who'd understand is him.
There are a lot of things in this world that I don't know. Granted, I might never know them.
But I know one thing.
I love him. and he loves me. That's enough.
