I'll make you proud one day. I promise.

Today my life changed. No more eating brownies after dinner, or having a Mountain Dew when I need to wake up. No more shaving my legs for Sunday, or getting rid of the smell of chlorine that seems to haunt me.
Today my High School swim season starts.
And quite frankly, it's a big deal.
Did you know that when colleges are scouting for recruits, they look at the times from your Junior year? Junior?! Why?!? No one knows. But they do.
I'd like to think that I could take the whole summer off and come back strong and ready to swim, but that wont ever happen in a million years. Some people can be gone for weeks and come back to practice and kick my butt. Even when I've been there the whole time. It gets frustrating, but I'm happy for their success. I guess. - Cue angry jealous face-.

I know what you're thinking. "C'mon Sammi. ANOTHER post about swimming? Get a life. Puuhhlleeze."
Well, my few dear followers, I have to graciously deny your request. Because, incase you haven't noticed, Swimming IS my life. It's my whole reason for existing. And when your entire college career is riding on just this one season, it's a big deal. So why not blog about it?

Among the many things I've learned from swimming, is that you really do get out what you put in, and that you're going to fail quite often before you see success. But it's what you do when you fail that counts. Do you stay on the ground, telling yourself it isn't even worth it, and you should just quit now? Or do you get back up and give failure a slap in the face when it tells you you can't, turn your back on it and say "Watch me."?

As for me, I've failed a lot. let me tell you. I was in Washington for a swim meet one time with the Western half of the country, rested and feeling really really  good. That meet was what I had trained my entire 6 month season for. That was IT.
When I dove in, I felt good. It was brilliant. It was a distance race, so I knew I had to keep a pace in order to get the time I wanted.
Then. I lost it.
My arms started burning and my legs stopped moving. I was dying for air and that stupid annoying voice in the back of my head turned from "You're slowing down! speed up!" to "Just finish."
I got dead last in my heat. I'll never forget the look on my coach's face after that one. It still burns my eyes sometimes.

But, with failure eventually comes success. I don't have any really cool success stories to tell you. I didn't come back from behind and take state in a race. I didn't set a new record or even place in top 3. It just hasn't been in the cards for me yet.
But, I can tell you one thing.

I wont ever stop fighting. I won't ever stop practicing, sweating, bleeding and crying for the things I want most. Not just in swimming, but in everything. I'm not one to let things slip past me very easily.
The world is always going to tell us no. They're always going to set standards and limitations on what we can do. They're always going to try to tell us who to be and what to stand for.
Just be you.
And never stop working and fighting for the things you want most.

I'll make you proud one day. I promise.