Fixing a Heart.

" I try to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind.


I just ran out of band-aids. I don't even know where to start. Cause you can't bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart." 


I'm not going to write a sob story about breaking up. I didn't break up with anybody. I'm not even with anybody. I'm talking about the damage that a heart takes when something eats at you for a period of time. That sick, almost nauseating feeling that constantly hangs over you. 
Worrying.
Holding a grudge.
Wishing you could change them.
Wishing you could take all the consequences for them.
Hoping they'll be okay, but you never really know for sure because the mask they're wearing is so thick.
Wanting to take all of the pain away.
Not saying sorry when you should.
Being a burden when you shouldn't.


I'm one of those people that wishes she could take all the pain I see and put it on myself. Not because I want to say "Look what I'm doing." but because I just can't stand seeing people I love hurting. 
I try to make myself believe that I'm strong enough to handle anything. I try to tell myself that I can handle their pain, too, because then it would be my worries and not theirs. I know that I can handle it, and I don't want them to be hurting when they don't need to.


Then I realized that I'm just me. I can only take as much as any normal person. I've had my own trials, and dealt with them how I needed to. Maybe not in the best way at first, but I learn from my mistakes.
Someone very smart once told me "You can be a help to people, but you can't be everything. Let Him take the pain for them. He's already done it. There's not a need for you to."


It took me a while to realize how true that really is. 


Christ already did everything for us. He can make every ache we're feeling going away. He's the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about but no one truly believes until they experience it on their own. He's the force that heals you behind the band-aid. He's the answer to all of the questions you ask yourself at night when its dark and you feel alone. He's that warm fuzzy feeling you get. 


He's the one who fixes hearts. 


I wish everyone knew the emotional stress that teenage girls feel every day. So many different facets, so many different things to deal with. How many times have we said "No one understands me," or "Why do I have to be in this alone?"


You silly girls. You're not alone. And someone does understand you. Someone who knows you better than yourself. Someone who knows how betrayal feels. Someone who knows how crying so hard your sides ache feels. Someone who knows what a broken heart feels like.


Sometimes it's just comforting to know that even though we're surrounded by materialistic things, there's one thing that doesn't have a price, and surpasses everything ever created by man.


God's Love.

" Sometimes you must walk a little further into the darkness before you can see the light"